Healthy Relationships: 8 Mistakes Every New Couple Makes

New in a relationship and looking out for the mistakes and potholes that look all too obvious for everyone bar yourself? Below are some of the most damaging, and equally avoidable, mistakes that every early couple make as selected by leading experts all in this field.

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#1 Moving In

Moving in together too quickly. It can take years to get to know a partner. And in those years, a lot can go wrong! Couples should avoid moving in together for at least half a year. A little time and patience goes a long way to avoiding disaster down the road.

Contributor: Nicholas Kinports from


#2 Politeness

Younger couples tend to quickly forget politeness. Once the honeymoon phase is over it's easy to slip into a routine that ignores your partner on this very basic level. Make it a point to say please and thank you when he or she cleans the kitchen, takes out the trash, or otherwise makes a kind gesture. That's a habit that can lead to a lifetime of happiness.

Contributor: Nicholas Kinports from

#5 ‘The Infatuation Stage’

It's easy for a less experienced dater to believe they have met their soul mate during the 'infatuation phase' of a new relationship. Discussions regarding moving in together or even marriage proposals are not unheard of after only two or three months of dating in some instances.

The simple truth is they really didn't know the person before they made the decision to commit to them or the relationship. It's almost a cliché to hear someone say: 'He/she is not the same person I fell in love with.'

Contributor: Kevin Darné with

#6 Changing Someone

In the case of a habit such as smoking a person at some point may attempt to get their mate to quit. Their mate, on the other hand, becomes resentful since it was known they smoked prior to establishing a relationship. Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: I'm looking for someone to change me!

Most people want to be loved and accepted for who they are. He or she may say: 'You knew I was a smoker when we met.' Generally speaking, people don't change unless they are unhappy.

There is no amount of work or communication that can overcome being with someone who simply does not want what you want. If you or your mate needs to change in order to make a relationship work there is a good chance you may be with the wrong person.

Contributor: Kevin Darné with

#7 Don’t Give Your Life Up

It can be tempting at the beginning of a relationship to want to spend every moment together. However, it’s important to retain parts of your own individual identity. Keep your kickball team and make sure to carve out time for your friends. In the long run, you’ll be thankful you did.

Contributor: Tom Bruett, LMFT and couples therapist in San Francisco from

#8 Mindset Changes

Forgetting that decisions once made for one must now be made for two, as a prime example. This is particularly true if you have been on your own for a number of years, used to doing your own thing, only answering to yourself.  Believing that your partner should be able to read your mind. He or she doesn't and shouldn't be expected to. Don't expect them to know what you need, how you feel about something, then get angry when they don't.

Contributor: Carol Gee, author of 'Random Notes' (About Life, Stuff And Finally Learning To Exhale).

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Written by James Metcalfe

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