Reconciliations can be the much-needed conclusion to any fight or falling out that has gripped either two people or an entire group for any amount of time. However beneficial they may prove though, reconciliations are not without their own stresses and hardships one has to pull through for the whole venture to be worthwhile. This article attempts to go through some of the most honest and invaluable pointers surrounding the world of reconciliations, even throwing in two of the best settings to hold that conversation at the bottom of the piece.
A successful reconciliation may not mean the same to all parties. We may envision lots of togetherness, involvement in day-to-day life, and one big happy family. Someone else may see reconciling as a couple of holiday visits per year and a birthday card or bouquet. Forethought and honesty about what reconciliation means are important caveats for success.
Unfortunately, the majority of the reconciled speak of much stress, a lack of trust, and fear that it won't last anyway. That's because there is often a lot of stressful history and hurt. Relationships need re-negotiation, too. People change in the interim.
Sometimes it's an outside force that brings reconciling about. Some parents said that the spouse of an adult child was instrumental in bringing them back together. Sometimes a sibling helps facilitate a sister's or brother's return to the fold. Most often, my survey revealed that reconciliation is initiated in the face of big events. A baby is born or on the way, a family member dies, a wedding occurs, or the adult son or daughter who estranged themselves is going through a divorce or facing a life threatening illness.
Among those who have reconciled for more than a short period or between episodic estrangements, there was either agreements to let bygones be bygones or continued family counseling. Among these, parties still viewed the reconciliations as stressful, but they felt good about trying and were motivated to work it out. Sometimes, the motivation derives from related relationships the parties valued, such as grandchildren or extended family.
Find a fairly quiet and accessible coffee shop. Offer to buy the person a coffee. Make sure to bring a book or laptop so that you can work on something if the person ends up not showing up.
The mall is a great place if you want to reconcile and then run errands afterwards. Food courts are especially spacious and quiet enough for reconciliation.
Contributor: Alex Tran from we love eat travel
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