When entering into a marriage, we all want it to be a happy and long-lasting one. However, it seems that building up a relationship is much more difficult than destroying it. If you are in an unhappy marriage which has the signs we mention below, it is better to let it come to an end.
Trying to save an unhappy marriage has bad effects
If you are in an unhappy marriage, you have to endure the harms to your health. Many people are trying to save their marriage because they think that it will be hard for their children if their parents get divorced. However, if you think about it more clearly, your children cannot be happy when their parents come into conflicts all the time. They may not realize this when they are still young, but when they grow up, they will understand you decision. And this will be wiser for you and your partner to know when you should stop.
In addition, trying to save an unhappy marriage has many serious drawbacks to your health. Most psychologists agree that a bad marriage causes a detrimental impact on your health. Researchers in Nevada and Michigan universities carried out a research on 373 couples who had an unhappy marriages and frequent conflicts.
According to their research, the disagreement about different issues, including children, money and leisure activities, had bad impacts on the health of both husbands and wives. However, it seemed that men have to endure the greater impact of conflicts than women.
By asking spouses several questions about their health, the research pointed out the damages to the health of unhappy couples, including inflammation, an increase in stress hormones and changes in appetite. These changes affected heart functions as well as the immune system.
Signs that you are in an unhappy marriage
You need to know when to stop your relationship. Source: MonJunction
You may be afraid when making the decision to leave a marriage. You are scared of being alone and you are unsure about your future. Sometimes even you realize there is something wrong with your relationship, you still ignore it because you find it hard to admit it. If you realize any of these hard facts below, you need to take a look whether you should keep the relationship or not.
Not having sex
It might be a shame but sex is one of the first signs that you need to be aware of. According to Megan Fleming, a sex and relationship therapist, if your relationship is totally sexless or if you have sex less than 10 times a year, they are warning sign of your marriage. At such time, trying to use do choi tinh duc and change your familiar sex. Don’t say that sometimes you are too tired and do not want to have sex. It is not good to invent a pretext for your troubled relationship.
In addition, it is not only about sex. The lack of physical affection, including hugging and kissing, indicates the real problem to your marriage, according to the relationship therapist Jane Greer, the author of the book “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.
There is nothing to say to your partner
You do not want to share anything with your spouse. Source: PopSugar
When things happen in your life, your husband or your wife is not the first one that you want to share with. You may find it hard to tell your husband about the troubles in your work. You would rather share it with a friend rather than with your partner. According to Jane Greer, lack of meaningful conversations are also a sign of a troubled relationship.
Lack of connection
Another sign of an unhappy marriage is the lack of connection between two people. You are together but alone. Each of you are doing your own thing and do not care about what the other is doing. For instance, you are in the same room but your husband is using his smartphone to chat with his friends and you are reading a book. This is not how a happy marriage should be and indicates that there is a disconnection between you two.
You care about others’ needs and problems more than yours
Many women are trying to save their marriages. They seem to put a high priority on their kids. They often forget what they need as they take on the role of caretakers. Women usually put others needs ahead of her own troubles. And according to Gadoua, women perceive it as a way to avoid their own problems with their relationships.
This sign is not so clear because sometimes you do not even realize something wrong is happening to your marriage. However, if you always spend your time making others lives to be easier, maybe it is necessary to take a look at your own relationship.
The distance between you is growing but you do not want to take action
Another way to determine an unhappy marriage is to ask yourself how long this situation has lasted. Building up a relationship has never been an easy task and most couples have to go through the hard times. However, Gadoua suggested that if the difficulties last more than two years, it is time to ask for professional help because there is a problem with your marriage.
And better late than never. Don’t wait for your relationship to come to an end if you can save it. You need to attend therapy sessions to identify the problems with your relationship and determine whether you should try to save this marriage or not. If the problem cannot be solved, just let it go instead of keeping it. It is no use keeping an unhappy marriage because as what we have mentioned before, it is not good for yourself and for your children.
Cole noted that most couples wait about 6 years from the time they realized the problems in their marriage until the time they try therapy. It is too late. And both of you have to suffer from a broken relationship for several years. Therefore, when realizing the problems with your relationship, ask for help from the therapist as soon as possible.
You still enjoy life without your spouse
You think it is fine to live without your spouse. Source: SheKnows
Have you ever imagined a happy future without your spouse? If you often do so, it is a key sign that things are going wrong and your relationship is in trouble. According to Turndorf, it is a sign that you’ve fallen out of love if you are making your future plans without your partner. “It’s as if the mind has pulled its own plug so our hearts won’t suffer as much when the relationship ends.”
You can imagine a beautiful day on a beach and without your spouse. How do you feel? If you feel excited, there are some serious problems with your marriage and maybe it is better to stop. However, you should consider whether there is anything you can do to work on the relationship or not. Consider it carefully so that when you come to the decision of ending this relationship, you can feel peaceful in your mind. There will be no regrets after all.
It is not easy to meet someone and build up a relationship. However, some relationships are not to last forever. There are always conflicts and troubles which prevent a long-lasting relationship. Trying to save an unhappy marriage is just a bad thing. Therefore, you need to know when you need to stop before it is too late.