One of the hardest things for people getting a divorce is likely to be the fact that they still need to work together when it comes to giving the best life to their children. Even in peaceful times, co-parenting can be difficult, but when divorce gets in the picture, the obstacles may seem insurmountable. However, when both parents agree that the well-being of the children must come first, it can be rewarding and fulfilling to put the children’s needs ahead of their own and work together as a team for a greater goal. Your divorce lawyer in AZ may be a good source for parenting tips after a divorce. Read on to learn some useful ideas.
Co-parenting after divorce is the practice of sharing the responsibilities and decisions of raising children with your former spouse or partner. Co-parenting can be challenging, especially if you have a contentious relationship with your ex, but it can also be rewarding and beneficial for your children’s peace of mind. Co-parenting requires cooperation, communication, compromise, and consistency from both parents.
It is important for the children of a divorced couple to understand the meaning of the divorce and how it will affect them and their living situation. Both parents must reassure them that even though circumstances might have changed, the love that mom and dad feel for the child has not been affected. Also, it must be made clear that the divorce did not happen because of anything that they did and that it is in no way their fault. Take the time to listen to their concerns and answer any questions in an age-appropriate way.
Your children do not need to be involved in the interpersonal conflicts you and your ex-spouse might still have. Try to resolve them without using the children as intermediaries. Avoid falling into the habit of badmouthing the other parent, and never make them feel guilty for loving both of you and spending time with the other parent. By acting this way, you will be building a foundation of empathy and care in your children that will serve them well when they become adults.
Although it may not always be possible, try to keep routines as consistent as you can. Also, lay down rules and expectations across both households and stick to them. The children need to know that their bad behavior will not be tolerated either in mom’s or dad’s place and that they expect to behave properly in both homes. Attend school events and parent-teacher conferences, doctor’s appointments, and extracurricular activities. Take the time to celebrate and encourage their achievements and milestones. Be available to listen and offer guidance and support.
Children learn as much or more from what you do than from what you say. Learn to support each other as parents from the beginning, always respecting each other’s boundaries and roles. Encourage and facilitate the relationship of the children with the other parent and never interfere with or undermine the other parent’s authority nor cut short their time with the kids. Be courteous and never make decisions or changes in the children’s lives without talking it out with the other parent first. After all, you both need to be on the same wavelength when it comes to what you want for your children’s future and the type of people they will grow up to be.
Your children count on you and depend on you to take them and pick them up from wherever they are. Teach them that punctuality is a virtue and practice it yourself. Be prepared and positive when they have to spend time with their other parent by helping them with any belongings they need to pack and reminding them of the agreed-upon schedule. Avoid arguing or creating tension during drop-offs or pick-ups. Reassure them that you will miss them but that you are happy for them to spend time with the other parent.
Mark all of your children’s activities, events, appointments, play dates, and everything the other parent needs to be aware of in a shared calendar. Get in the habit of updating it frequently and encourage your ex-spouse to do the same. This will prevent unnecessary misunderstandings and frustrations.